she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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