I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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