I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize