If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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