I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
