Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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