halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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