You can't motorboat a personality
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We left the knife in your bed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
