you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
