Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
