I just pynch a tree in the face
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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