I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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