I puked a lego.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
