She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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