Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
