I think im going to throw up on grandma
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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