dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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