Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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