Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
