I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
