i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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