Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
