we have pet lesbian snakes
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
