i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My ATM looks so different sober.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
