It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
