chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
