Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
