Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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