it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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