well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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