So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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