Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
