Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
