He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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