also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
