Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize