So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
