I cockslap morals
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
its not stalking. its research.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
