just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
