im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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