Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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