I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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