we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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