Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
