pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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