that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
