Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
