I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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