I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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