Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
