I wish you could order shots online.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
