You're completely useless in the revolution.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
