I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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