pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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